1. Be a detective of your spouse
We all want to feel important, especially to our spouse. Pay attention to what makes your spouse light up. Spend a week to learn the following about your partner and if you can’t figure it out just ask, “Honey, what is your favorite…?”
- Time of year
- Outdoor activities
When you decode this you will have a whole arsenal of things to feed your spouse’s spirit.
2. Make time to connect with each other daily
This is a very important step in a healthy relationship. It’s funny, because I always thought that when you lived with somebody, you would automatically know everything that was going on. But I have found that if couples don’t take that time to connect with each other, it’s really easy for life to get in the way.
My husband and I have what we call “water time” with each other. We go into the hot tub or take a shower together in the morning and talk about our day. We find if we don’t do this we start to get frustrated with each other because we feel out of touch.
3. Remind your spouse how attractive they are to you
We all like to fee like we are attractive to our spouse. It is very important to communicate our desire for each other. We want our spouse to look to us for validation, so doing this is the only way we can achieve that success.
When a couple experience rejection from each other, it is hard for them to want to give complements. But this is a very important step to rebuilding a relationship, and keeping it strong. Be authentic with your spouse when you complement them. Don’t be fake in your words, your spouse won’t believe you and it will defeat the purpose.
4. Keep a clean slate every day
This is a really important step in creating an honest, healthy relationship. In your alone time, every day, talk about the things that are bothering you, and give your spouse the benefit of the doubt. My husband has done something that has helped us keep a clean slate, and not get mad at each other. He says, “I know you didn’t do this on purpose and I know if you knew that it upset me you would have never done it, but…”. This simple statement lets me know that he knows that I have his best interest in mind always. It keeps me from getting defensive and helps us get to a resolution fast.
5. Get spiritual together
In another University of Chicago survey, this one of married couples, 75 percent of the Americans who pray with their spouses reported that their marriages are “very happy” (compared to 57 percent of those who don’t pray). Those who pray together are also more likely to say they respect each other, and discuss their marriage together.
Talk about incorporating a simple grace at dinnertime, or maybe some soul-searching meditation as a couple. Partners that routinely pray together say that a shared spiritual life helps keep them close.
This post was written by Meg Anderson at www.coachingyourdestiny.com
Samuel Leccima and Shani Leccima are the co-founders of Marriedmillions.com – The Essential Business Website For Married Couples. They are also the authors of “Married Millions: The Ultimate Business Guide For Married Couples.” Download a free copy of the book here. Feel free to leave a comment about this post.